These Three Things
- Matt Graham
- Jan 1, 2021
- 3 min read
“The ambitions we have will become the stories we live.”
-Donald Miller
When you’re a kid, people ask you what you want to be when you grow up. You don't have to think long before deciding to become a firefighter, princess, dragon, or literally anything else that sounds exciting. The people who hold you close tell you that they know you can do it. And deep down, you know it too.
When you get to high school people still ask you what you want to be, yet somehow things are different this time. Childhood dreams are now met with resistance. People want you to take reality into account. Gross. They see your ACT score, and they let you know what you're qualified for. They'll tell you to make lots of money or to go down the paths that you excel at. They don't often take your dreams at face value anymore and tell you to make backup plans. The sky is no longer the limit. Everyone suddenly seems to know what's best for you. You watch friends fall into places where others have told them they belong.
Maybe you end up at college, where the average student changes their major at least three times. You go there thinking that things will be much more clear by the end, yet somehow you end up facing more ambiguity than ever. Then you get a job. Maybe you love that job; maybe you hate it. Maybe both. Either way, it becomes a part of you.
One day, people stop asking what you want to be when you grow up. Sometimes I wonder if they stop asking because they stopped dreaming, or because you did. What happens to us that makes us lose the ambitions we once had? At what point do we decide that fighting world hunger is too big of a task, and instead settle for scrolling online? Sometimes our largest ambitions are replaced by small comforts. Most times, this happens without us even noticing.
When I grow up, I want to be someone who remembers the dreams they once had. I want to approach each day as an opportunity to love, to learn, to challenge and be challenged. I'm excited to do things I've never done. To fail, then succeed, then fail again.
I used to think that to follow dreams, you'd have to sacrifice a part of you in some way. We learn pieces of history like Brutus betraying Ceasar, or of more recent feuds like the founding of Facebook or McDonalds. After hearing enough of these stories, a part of you starts to believe that's just the way life is: that to follow dreams, we have to make sacrifices that detract from our character. More recently, I've begun to see how silly that is. If your dreams detract from who you are, they probably aren't that great. On a similar note, if they don't include anyone besides yourself, they probably aren't that great either.
It's a new year, full of new dreams and new opportunities. In the past I'd spend this week telling people that about 80% of New Year's Resolutions fail, and scoffing at people who would make them anyway. Though true, I'm not sure that's helpful. This year I decided to do things a little different. There are three things I'd like to focus on, not necessarily to change myself, but just because I want to. Maybe that's always what resolutions were about anyway. Here they are.
I rush things, a lot, and am constantly filling my time with distrations. To combat this, I've been trying to take about five seconds to take things in every time I step outside. Five seconds to pause and reflect on what I'm doing, why I'm doing it, and where I'm going. Five seconds to be thankful. I like this a lot because it's so simple, but has been helpful nonetheless. I'd love to continue this in 2021.
Masks make smiles harder to come by these days. The other day, an old man ran past me while I was running. He smiled and waved. I smiled back. When I kept running, I realized I was still smiling. It was contageous. I want to be that type of contageous. Smiling is easy. If I pass you and don't smile, bop me on the head.
Eat more chocolate. Or at the very least, give other people more chocolate. Probably a healthy combination of both.
These three things are how I choose to start my 2021. How will you start yours?
“What do you want to be when you grow up? Kind, said the boy.”
― Charlie Mackesy, The Boy, the Mole, the Fox and the Horse
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